The DNA of Parenting
This is my final word in response to yesterday's post of the man who wants 'his' son back after a 23 year absence.
1. To the Women: I feel that women play the biggest role in pregnancy. I have always been convinced that if a woman does not want to be pregnant she won't. Sadly there are women who seem to play the card of pregnancy to trap men. Then there are some irresponsible women who sleep with so many men and they don't know who the father is. This too is irresponsibility and careless desperation.
2. To the Men: all of us men have made mistakes. It is the accepting the responsibility that matters. Indeed there are cases when your partner actually tells you that you are not the father. But those things happen even in marriages. Women ignorantly use that line to test a man's commitment but have no idea how negative it is. Where there is doubt go for dna tests. Finally men you can run away from your child today but one day that child will find you. Especially if the child will be poor they will find you. And if you are poor you will find them. Rather than running away men let's take responsibility. Say sorry, pay the damages and be there in the life of the child. By the way never fire live bullets if you are not ready for the consequences.
3. To the Children: My parents were together all my life until they passed away. So I can't say I know what you go through. But I know this much. It's better to have one committed parent than two uncommitted parents. The desire for parents is natural but be appreciative of the one parent God has blessed you with. It's ok to pursue your relationship with a lost parent but do not put to much hope into that. Life must go on even in pain.
4. My final thoughts; there is no perfect family. Be strong. There will be complications in relationships. That is normal. Women be strong. To the men who are raising children on their own be strong. To the young ladies and young men let's learn from the mistakes of others. There are some genuine women and genuine men who have been heart broken. Find the courage to forgive, the convictions to smile and the determination to move on.
Mandela said when he left prison he had to forgive everyone or else prison would go with him everywhere.
This article may not solve all our problems. But if it can dry one tear and smooth a road then that's enough. God never fails and He is the greatest guide and counselor.
Many of you have written to me in my inbox. Thank you and God bless.
Mubita C. Nawa